Monday, November 20, 2006

The 'Fly' is furious!!

The world has gone completely barking mad and here is yet another example to prove it!
This week (yes, for one week only) is anti-bullying week!! Oh, yes!!
So, if you are a bully, watch out!! . . or better still . . just take a week off!!
Here is the article! (My observations in red).

Get all you need for Anti-Bullying Week!
Free online interactive resources covering racist, cyber, inter-faith, homophobic and text bullying amongst lots more for secondary schools.
So if you are bullied, just ask them to wait a second while you complete this interactive course!

Free online interactive resources covering all types of bullying, bystanding and emotional intelligence concepts for primary schools.
Primary schools?? So let me get this right . . little people get to primary school and need to brush up on bullying, because certain parents haven’t dragged their brats up well enough to behave in a decent manner??

'What have you learned today, Johnnie? Your times-table, your alphabet?'
'No, but I now can spot a bully a mile off!!'
'Couldn’t you do that before?'
'Yes, but now I know what to call it when Jack kicks me in the head!'

BBClic, M8Z and Antbassadors learning resources
Antbassadors??? Are they the anti-bullying soldiers for Ants??

Maybe the people who wrote this would have been better of learning how to proof-read rather than fighting off bullies!

Competitions and games.
Games?? Bullying and games??

Oh, yes, let’s play some games rather than punishing the bullies!
That will make us all feel better and it is politically correct!!

Free charters and workshop outlines.
Wow! Everyone loves something for free!!

The Take A Stand campaign.
Take a stand? Yes, let’s take a stand!! Every little person should take a stand when confronted with a bunch of aggressive, ill-educated thugs! You’ll get the sh*t kicked out of you but at least you took a stand!!

Free toolkits for all staff, governors, parents, children and young people.
I don’t know about you but when I was in primary school I didn’t even know how to spell toolkit and now I need one??

Free teachers’ notes and lesson plans.
I don’t even want to go there!!

And finally, why not support Anti-Bullying Week by wearing a dog tag, glow-in-the-dark wristband or a badge? As worn by celebrities, the much-sought-after dog tags, glow-in-the-dark wrist bands and badges are now available at 50p each for Anti-Bullying Week for you to buy in bulk and raise money for your school.
This is brilliant!! Don’t make the bullies do (or wear) anything but all you decent young people will now have to wear a dog-tag (woof!!) and a glow-in-the-dark badge so bullies can single you out more easily during these dark winter evenings! (It can otherwise be very difficult to see clearly whom you have to beat up next!).
I know that even though you have done nothing wrong, you will need to spend 50 pence of your own money for this privilege but hey, . . . look on the bright side . . that’ll be 50 pence less you’ll have to hand over to the bullies when they rob you of your lunch money!
Now, doesn’t that make you sleep easier at night?!!


To all bullies anywhere in the vicinity of my family:
You start bullying any member of my family, . . . I will make you regret the day you had to be born!!

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My target weight is 199 pounds and if you haven’t sponsored me yet, please do so by going to http://www.justgiving.com/firefly and adding yourself to the list.

Throughout the next weeks you will be able to follow my progess (O God, I hope it will indeed be progress!!) on my Biff-o-meter and can comment on this blogsite with words of encouragment or by throwing abuse at me.

Here then is the Biff-o-meter after week 7 of my Challenge!






Weight now = 209 pounds
Weight lost so far = 20 pounds

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's true!! He will! I've seen it first hand...being the Firefly's son and all that. I remember it well...a belated thank you Dad, for having my back that time!...God, that was a good 15 years ago now! Reading what you have written just makes me laugh...but it really isn't funny...is it??! I can't wait to bring kids into this world!!! Neil.x

Janet said...

Hey there...

I have NOT fallen off the face of the planet...although sometimes it feels that way! I'm catching up on my blog reading this morning, and yours is OF COURSE included! Thanks for posting on Lord Celery from time to time -- your comments are always very interesting!

Janet

little things said...

Ah bullies, a subject close to mmy heart. Being a small, petite blonde child in a rough neighborhood, it seemed I was the target for any bully who wanted to start something.
I learned young to punch hard just as soon as someone touched me.
I can dare say that no one touched me twice! :)
Now a mother of four, I've taught my children the same rule.
And yes, one has already been suspended for fighting. But who cares...the girl never bothered her a second time.