10 stupid Thinks I've gone in my Life
We've all done stupid things in our lives and I am no exception!
Here then is my list of stupid things. I hope you'll enjoy it!
- Once, as a teenager, I tried to speed up the burning process of a bonfire by trying to add petrol to it with a canister. Luckily my girlfriend's Dad grabbed me just in time, choking the hell out of me and calling me a moronic son-of-a-b*tch! Phew!!
- I married my first wife! How stupid was that?!!!
- When I was 18 I drove off to get some more beer from the store. Unfortunately I was totally drunk at the time! So drunk in fact, I couldn't find the store and returned empty-handed. Madness!!
- Whilst in the army I had a dispute with another soldier, so I clobbered him one - locked him in the wardrobe and threw the wardrobe out of the second floor window! He landed upside down stunned and severely bruised but otherwise intact (which is more than can be said for the wardrobe!). It netted me a 2-week visit to the army prison but I didn't care.
- At the age of 18 I borrowed my Dad's car, which after a while started to make horrific grinding noises from the engine. I still carried on driving until it gave up the ghost, thus rendering it irreparable, since it had completely run out of oil! Oops!! Was my Dad a happy bunny?? Ehm . . that's a No then!!
- Aged 20 I met the woman of my (then) dreams. She lived 300 miles away and I spent all of my evenings working after school at a sh*tty job to earn enough money to go and see her on the weekends. After 9 months, she was fed up with me and send me packing! (B*tch!!)
- In the summer of 1987 I packed up my entire family to drive overnight from England to Germany. In Belgium I took the wrong turning off the motorway. Realising my mistake I turned around 180 degrees back up to the motorway which woke my wife Jan up.
"You are on the wrong side!!" she screamed. "Of course I am on the wrong side!!" I replied, waving my hand at her in a belittling way, "We are in Belgium! They do drive on the other side!!" Before she could say anything else 2 cars came towards us (like in the film Trains, Planes and Automobiles) lights flashing and I realised that I was going against the flow of traffic on a dual carriage-way! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
- When I was 12 years old, my brother Tom (then 7 years old) was a pain in the neck. We shared a bedroom together and he just wouldn't shut up and go to sleep. So I got up and punched him. Unfortunately he fell back onto the small wooden head-board of the bed nearly breaking his neck. The doctor was called and should have been re-called for me after the tremendous thrashing my Dad gave me.
- At the tender age of 10 my friend and I decided that school was to be avoided as our homework was not up-to-date and the note to our parents to alert them of this fact was unsigned due to us not telling them about this. We figured since it was only 10 days to go to the 8 weeks summer holidays, we'd stay off school in the hope that after the break the teacher will have forgotten about the homework.
All went well until day 8 when the teacher phoned our parents wishing "speedy recovery" for whatever illness was keeping us from school.
Do you know how to hit a moving object with a four-slice toaster?? My Dad does!! OMG!!! - Whilst on holiday in Greece with the family and Jan being 7 months pregnant with Victoria she was complaining about back pain. "I know how to cure that!" I said, standing back to back with her, interlocking arms and lifting her up over my back. (Insert any old swear-words you can think of here!!)
How was I to know about Sciatica, often experienced in late pregnancy, primarily resulting from the uterus pressing on the sciatic nerve, and, secondarily, from the muscular tension and / or vertebral compression consequent to carrying the extra weight of the fetus, and the postural changes inherent to pregnancy. (according to the doctor's handbook)
So, there you have it! My list of idiotic behaviour. I tag you all to do a list yourselves!
21 comments:
You certainly have a superb memory. I am lucky to remember yesterday.
Oh, dear! Very nice man, I find it really hard to remember naughty things I've done. I blank them out, because they usually end up making me feel silly and embarrassed. Or, I blank them out because I don't want people to find out how naughty I am! Yours is a very honest list indeed.
I've done that car thing but as I always say God looks out for the stupid and my friend put oil in and the car ran for another year. Now that I understand a little more about cars I don't know why.
Wow. what a bad bad list of ten. Not sure what is worse. The throwing out the window or punching your brother so hard. shame on you.
Glad you are the "nice" man now.
LOL, hilarious!
Wow, you have a side of you I didn't expect! Remind me never to get you mad at me!
I once threw some puccine on a solid fuel stove to try to get it going! We had just moved in to a house and for then it was our only source of heating. Fortunately I was able to move back quickly enough to avoid major damage.
The very stupid thing is that I was 37 at the time - not even too young to know better!!!!
Well, well, well Erik there sure are some halrious skeletons in your closet.
They made me LOL although I'm sure at the time they weren't so funny.
As for doing one myself, hmmmm, my Mum reads my blog !
I noticed how a majority of those stupid things had the word "Teen" associated with it!
Gee Erik, I wouldn't have pictured you doing that stuff from your present blog persona. How things change.
I think I'll keep mine to myself, thank anyway.
that's a good, or bad, top ten list. very honest. luckily most of enid's bad moments have been blanked by the copious amounts of alcohol she was drinking at the time.
rats guts and lizard nuts... you are a walkin' nightmare
ha ha ha ha ha ha
You're so human....I love it!
Be sure to read my post today, I think you'll find it interesting.
erik and you look like butter wouldn't melt now-a-days (ref photo)
Now you need to get beccy to do this so I know what she got up to in her mis-spent youth.
"Young and dumb" comes to mind, lol. But we've ALL had our share of "moments" like these. You're crazy enough to share them...actually, I think you could've gotten several complete posts out of many of these.
Sooo glad these things are in your PAST!
That is quiet a list! As I am quite the dork... my list is never ending. i consider my blog my list, just count the 10 most recent blog posts! LOL!
You had me laughing at a few of those. Thanks for posting that!
OOOOO I have done some stupid things to and Ill think about them and put some down as soon as I get a chance.
we are all human and we all do things we wish we had not done.when we are young we dont know all we need to to make wise choices.but we live and learn.at lest we hope we do.God bless brother.
that is quite a list.. I Have to agree with the first poster.. my memory is horrible!!
I actually came here early yesterday, before there were any comments, but then I had to scoot outta the house quickly and didn't get a chance to comment!
You were a young brute, weren't you? So glad you're really nice now, Erik. Otherwise, I dunno......I might have to hurt you!
1. ok I married three times and ended up with the wrong person every time.I cant pick a good man if my life depended on it.
2.I was driving my motorcycle and not watching as I did.I was barely moving but I hit a mailbox and ended up on my keyster.I was trying to empress a guy.Oh yah that really empressed alright.he ended up thinking I was a moron.
3.I took a drag off a gig thinking that is what it was. and it was wacky tobakie,or ditch weed.I ended up on the ground out side laying.I had had a few drinks and when I finely came to I thought I was going to get run over by a car.but I was laying in front of spot lights.needless to say I told the Lord Id never do that again.that was 30 some years ago.I kept my promise.
4.I hit a bully smack in the mouth and she slide on the floor and hit the wall.she had it coming.I was 17.
5.I use to cut people down so bad they would lay bleeding just from my mouth lashing.the Lord had to clean up my act.some of the people had it coming but it didnt make it right.
6.I got really drunk one time and I mean really drunk.I learned my lesson.my mom made me clean house from top to bottem with the mother of all hang overs.I was getting better and was dumb and drank water and ended up smashed again.it wasnt fun.
7.I drove 80 miles and hour in my step Dads car to get my friend to the hospital when she had food poisoning.we were blessed we didnt get killed.
8.I stick my big foot in my mouth alot.but thank the good Lord he pulls it out for me.
9.I jumped into a convertable with two strangers with my friend.we were in our teens.the guys said they were going to rape us.thank God that car was a convertable.cause at the next stop we jumped right back out over the trunk.they were so surprised they couldnt do anything.and we were running so fast they couldnt have caught us anyway.
those are the dumb things I did.there is more but these were the dumbest.
Leann -
Oh my sweet Lord!! I never would have pitched you like that.
And the last entry (No.9) . . Holy Schmoly!!! You were lucky there! I bet you were petrified!!
Some of those are too funny! You were a wild boy!!!
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