Saturday, January 06, 2007

Getting p*ssed off

OK, I have resisted this for a long time now, but with pressures mounting I think now is a good time to release some steam!
Every day at work we gents are facing this sign at the urinals:

This is now beginning to p*ss me off, if you excuse the pun!

So this little session is for all of you women out there who seemingly have no clue as to how things work in this department:

  1. When we men go to the toilet we do not use our private parts as a garden hose waiving it about and making water loops for several reasons:
    a.) It's not long enough (well . . . )
    b.) This will not impress the guys standing at the adjacent cubicles
    c.) You would make an almighty mess including p*ssing your shoes and trousers
    d.) We do actually have better things to do!
  2. It is actually not as easy as just "point & shoot" in the right direction.
    Now I really do not want to get too graphical here but anyone who has ever had closer contact with a male member will know that there is very little similarity between a penis and a garden hose. Let's just say (and leave it at that) that asking us "to aim too" is almost as ridiculous as us asking you girls to pee into a bucket standing up without spilling a drop!
  3. Since the cleaners clearly think that we p*ss on the floor on purpose and cannot imagine that there is maybe a design reason why we can't aim perfectly all the time it leads me to conclude that they are probably
    a.) uneducated (you'd learn stuff like this in basic human biology)
    b.) Never got laid
    c.) Do not understand men, since they seem to think that just because they put a sign up we would actually give a rat's arse!
Don't make me come to your toilets and put up signs!
I have a stack of ideas for some fitting slogans, collected by some of my fellow loo visitors!


Anvilcloud said...

Never thought about it before, but it is rather silly. Oh, I just remembered this post which you might find amusing; it ties in.

Tonya said...

Oh my.. I cannot believe you have that sign in there.. like you are all peeing on the floor on purpose..

and yes I would not be peeing in a bucket standing up without spillage.. lol

Leann said...

my hubby has a probem with his plumbing do to some things he did while he was younger to him because he spitter and makes a mess he sits down.he does it him self and wasnt told to.or he wipes it up him self.he says its his mess and why should I clean it.the sign most likely does pi-- off the men who do be careful.but the ones who dont its for them.aint nothing worse then cleaning up after daughter had to clean apartments for male collage students.and she said it was like cleaning up after pigs.sorry your feathers got ruffled.but its not fun for the people who clean.have you ever be at the other end of a toilet brush?I hate cleaning the bathroom.the woman collage apartments werent much better only they didnt have so dirty bathrooms.

The very nice man said...

Hey, folks, thanks for the comments!
I agree, people should clean up after themselves and I think that most men are disgusting in this department! My suggestion is to get every employee to clean the toilet room from time to time and maybe then they realise that it is better to leave them in good condition from the start!
T'was a good rant though, wasn't it??!?

Kila said...

I've been tempted to put up a similar sign in my bathroom, but I had to foresight to realize it would make things worse, LOL. With 3 boys and a DH, I'm constantly cleaning the bathroom. Kind of tired of cleaning the toilet every time BEFORE I use it.
Unlike you, my youngest boy still thinks it's completely hilarious to see where it will all spray if he doesn't aim at all.

Take down the sign. Pee on it when no one is looking and throw it away ;)

Deana said...

I wouldn't appreciate a sign like that isn't like you're a child.
But at my old job they had to put a sign up about putting the paper towels in the toilet because the toilet overflowed into the offices one day...awful. Now what kind of dumb women went back into the stall with the paper towels to flush them? I guess that is what is with the signs....there is probably some guy you work with just hosing it up all over the floor like a fool!

Vicki said...

I wonder what the guys think about you bringing your camera into the mens room.! NOW That is a good post!

My son doesn't lift the lid when he pees. So then he dribbles on the seat and we come along and SIT IN HIS PEE. One night I had it! I went to the bathroom on the way to bed and he had dribbled on the toilet seat. I went to his room, turned on the light and told him "Get in the bathroom I pissed on the toilet and you are going to sit in it." Now this is not like me at all and he honestly thought I had lost my mind. I made him clean the toilet the next day. After seeing me loose my mind he has learned to aim.
That was TMI wasn't it?

Tiggerlane said...

Okay, the thing that REALLY bothers me about the sign is the lack of punctuation.

It should read: "We aim to please. Will you aim, too, please?"


I'd piss on it, just for that.

Jenny said...

You are cracking me up!