EGGstra-ordinarily stupid!

As I opened the door to our little garden this morning in order to have a look at the thermometer and take a picture, I noticed that some ‘nice’ person had thrown an egg at our back wall (See evidence below! ) probably as retaliation for an unsuccessful Trick-or-Treat session on Halloween Night when Jameson, our dog, threatened to rip your arm off if you ring that doorbell one more time.




















To the egg-thrower:
I just wanted to let you in on a few secrets.
* In order to throw the egg, you had to go to the back of the property, which is very muddy and full of dog shit! Checked your shoes lately??
* You needed to buy, steal or (knowing your kind) just take eggs from your Mom
* You had to be careful not to break the eggs in your pocket, bag or whatever else you were carrying them in
* All your mates (if you have mates) think you are a real hero now but on reflection will soon realise that you are in fact a sad, under-endowed little Muppet!
* Your Mom will no doubt have barked at you for entering the house with mud- and shit-caked shoes.
* You missed the double patio door you were aiming at even though it is as big as a f*cking barn door!!
* You still didn’t get any treats from us!!

On top of all this, you need to consider:
* The egg doesn’t care (as it was never meant to be turned into a chicken anyway)
* The wall doesn’t care (being immune to salmonella)
* Jameson doesn’t care (at least you stopped ringing that f*cking bell)
* My kids don’t care (as they now enjoy the sweets you didn’t get!)
* I don’t care (the egg washes right off, ya know!)

So . . . Trick-or-Treat to you, Bozo!!