Nicole??? - - - Papa??!!

Whilst we were up in Oban, Scotland, we decided to take the ferry from Oban to the Isle of Mull, which takes only about 45 minutes. My hidden agenda was to visit the Tobermory distillery, which was closed on my previous trip to the Isle.
So we all boarded the motorised sofa (see previous post) and headed for the port of Oban.
Unlike the previous time when we got nearly stranded in Oban due to the ferry being full up and me not having reserved tickets beforehand (‘Who is going to want to go to Mull anyway?’) everything went smoothly this time because I did not make that mistake again.
Because of our dog we all went up on deck and sat down amongst the cleverly disguised (NOT) tourists from various countries.

P.S.:
If I had not previously mentioned the fact that I was born in Germany, now is as good a time as any!
P.S.: –End

After a minute or so a woman sat herself next to me (picture Maureen Lipman in the “ology” adverts) and stroking our dog grinned at me and said: ‘So ein suesser Hund! Wir haben auch einen zu Hause! (Such a sweet dog! We, too, have one at home!) Sorry, no English!’
I replied in German: ‘You wanna buy it?? I’d sell it cheap!’
Shocked at my perfect German she looked at me in a “Nicole??? - - - Papa??!!” – sort of way and then went straight into a tornado of German sentences with wild hand gestures and excitedly flickering eyes.

She started to tell me all about her being on a bus tour through Scotland and was complaining about everything.
‘We have not even had time to go to a shop to buy Whisky and if we had, nobody told us what we might like! Are all Whisky’s the same?’
I suggested buying a bottle of Dalwhinnie, being soft with sweet after-taste for the ladies.
‘Oooh! You are such a nice man!! Darvinni?!’
During the crossing I suggested shops, restaurants, places to see and things to watch out for.
‘Oooh! You are such a nice man. You should do your own tours for Germans’
I told her that I had indeed contemplated doing just that and she said that she would definitely sign up for it.
She told me that she can see why I live in Scotland even though she found it very expensive!
I corrected her and advised her that I live in Buckingham, England.
‘Haha!! Even I know that the queen lives in Buckingham! ‘Oooh! You are such a naughty man!!’
I could not be pestered to untangle that misunderstanding and just smiled sweetly.
Our dog who, granted, is a bit dozy, did not pick up my telekinetic orders to bite her or at least grown enough to make her move so I got up to find the rest of the family, all of which had fled to the safety of the lower deck.
‘Auf Wiedersehen!’ I chirped shaking her hand as it is custom over there.
‘Auf Wiedersehen! It was a pleasure to meet such a nice man!!’
That’ll learn me to open my big mouth.
We met the woman and her group again on the way back but I did not stand still long enough for her to initiate conversation.

If I ever start doing tours for Germans, I will need a lot of Calm pills.
All said and done however it distinctively looks like I am a very nice man!!
(Blushes slightly and looks coy)