Those awful, gorram Food Mirages

I am only 5 days into my sponsored slim and my mind is already affected by food deprivation. As I type this, the keyboard looks like a chocolate bar, the laptop has turned into a giant toasty and my mouse spookily resembles a Hot Dog Sandwich!!
There is a clear and present danger that I will accidentally call Mr. Bellamy Mr. Celery and Mrs. Michinger Mrs. Fish-finger!!

My stomach makes noises similar to a Ducati motorbike running in idle mode and my co-workers have conspired to try and de-rail my efforts by all means possible.
Since I started this challenge on Monday the following items have miraculously appeared in our office in plain sight and going for free to anyone wishing to grab them:
Crisps, chocolates, biscuits, cream cakes (for someone’s birthday!! Yeah, right!!) and I am just waiting for a Kebab Skewer to magically appear!!







(Photo proof)

Conversations are also a tricky minefield at present since the ever so polite British constantly asking “How do you do?” and “How are you?” .
My standard reply this week has been:
“I could eat a scabby horse!!” but I have now made myself a note to stop saying that, since I currently still look as if I in fact have eaten a horse!!
Weekend coming up with many temptations and plenty of time to give in to the urge to devour the entire content of a medium sized delicatessen shop.
Wish me luck!!










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Thank you!