Is this the Way to Amarillo??

After a very, very nice man stole my Sat Nav system last December by smashing my side window and showering the inside of my car with glass, I decided that I would make do with the good old trusted maps from now on.
Alas, she who must be obeyed (my wife) had other ideas and insisted that a new Sat Nav would help daughter No.2 (who is new to driving) find her way around these blessed Isles!
So here in all its beauty is the new device.



In other news:
An 84 year-old woman has been killed and eight other people seriously hurt in a train crash in Cumbria, northern England. The investigation is concentrating on a set of points the 1715 GMT London to Glasgow train passed over just before derailing.

The boss of Network Rail has apologised unreservedly after it became apparent that nuts & bolts were missing and shoddy workmanship was to blame for this incident!

Well, that makes it all fair and square then!!
The fact that the same thing has happened before in London at Potters Bar in 2002 with the loss of 7 lives is neither here nor there I guess.
After that accident in 2002 an investigation made recommendations so that 'this sort of thing would never happen again!'
Yeah, right!! That worked!!

Perdita Kark, whose father Austen died at Potters Bar, told the BBC's World Tonight programme that "it would appear a very, very similar thing has happened in Cumbria".
"Obviously no lesson has been learnt by anybody at all," she added.
"It's just a disgrace and it makes me feel sick."
The (RAIB) report also found evidence that the last scheduled visual inspection of the track on February 18 by the company responsible for the track, Network Rail (NR), did not take place.
Rail safety expert Peter Rayner said the Cumbria derailment looked like a re-run of the 2002 crash.

So, next time you think of using a metal tube to propel yourself to your destination at 95 mph, you better make sure it isn't in this country!
So, . . .what's next??
Oh, I know!!!
Pay rises all round!!

Fun Monday #6

This Monday it is "My Blogging Environment", this can mean any number of things, such as which group of bloggers you hang out with, what weekly events you participate in (like this), what the general tone of the discussions are (no comment), even what platform you use, or in my case, "what does your desk look like?"
Well, here is mine:



Yes, I know . . it looks veeeery tidy!! This is not always the case!

Time for a Survey

The Fly is conducting a survey just for sh*ts & giggles:
So do partake via comments!
Thanks

Survey:

1. Do you have (or are you prepared to have) SKYPE installed (it's free!)
2. Do you have a Webcam at home?
3. Would you be prepared to share your SKYPE name with blog friends and speak to them on Skype? (This could be emailed to them so the SKYPE name would not be seen publically on your blog)
4. Would you talk to them via Webcam?
5. If you wouldn't do point 3 and/or point 4 above, what are your reservations or reasons?
   

I start the ball rolling by saying that I do have SKYPE and a Webcam and would be happy to do either/both.

Over to you!

P.S.:

I am selling a real naff wonderful item on Ebay, so scoot over there via this link below and get your hands on a great item (all for charity!!)

Click here!!!

As stupid as a Box of Hair!

I saw this extract in the press which I just needed to kvetch (complain) about:

Britney Spears had her drastic haircut at Esther's Hair Studio in Tarzana, west of Los Angeles, on Friday, but was later seen wearing a blonde wig.
The salon has set up a website to auction the hair for more than $1m (£512,500).
A spokeswoman for the website said they had already received a number of bids.

What on earth is wrong with people??
Here we have Britney, a young woman who is a prime example for the fact that money does not buy you happiness and that it is difficult living your life under the constant scrutiny of the press and their readers/viewers and what is the sum total of our response??
Is it pity? Is it compassion? Do people include her in their prayers?
Naaaaaaah!!!
Let's sell her hair instead and make an obscene amount of money with it!!
Now, don't get me wrong - business being what it is, you need to make hay whilst the sun is shining and in this money-grabbing capitalistic society nobody should be surprised by the attempt of a hairdressing salon to boost their income!
What I have a real problem with is those people - ordinary people like you and me - actually validating this crazy stunt by parting with their hard-earned cash and buying . . . I can hardly get myself to write it . . . a box of hair!!



Apart from the fact that you could never be sure that the hair you've just bought is actually hair that came of Britney's head (can you tell the difference??) I just find it amazing that people see any value in having it!?!?!
It grows naturally on billions of people's head; it is no different to the hair on your head; it is not particularly nice to look at and I don't think it would score any kudos points with your friends, when you show it to them and tell them how much you've paid for it!!
If it does score points, then I would urgently suggest that you need to change your friends!!

So, let us re-cap:

• Took advantage of the current lack of stability in a fellow human being (tick)


• Was sucked into the frenzy of buying something worthless (tick)


• Parted with a stack of cash that could have gone to - lets say - a charity (tick)


• Supported a ruthless business who does not give a shit about Britney (tick)


• Able to gloat to feeble-minded 'friends' about the latest valuable purchase (tick)
  

Next thing you know someone will come and tell me that this hair is Art or History or Celebrity Worship!

The Bible says: "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long must I stay with you and put up with you?" (Luke 9:41)

The Fly says: "Some people are really as stupid as a box of hair!"

This very nice man wishes Britney a speedy recovery and will remember her in his prayers!

Pancake Day

Whether the country is under siege, the sun doesn't rise in the East or a nuclear reactor has just exploded . . there is just nothing that can stop the urge to make pancakes on Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day).
The household of the very nice man is no exception to this rule and just to prove it, the electronic firefly will provide pictorial evidence of this:


Son No.1: "Right, folks! I've got the recipe book, I've got the mixing bowl, I've got the ingredients and this very fetching apron! Let battle commence!!"


Son No.1: "It says here . . borrow 4 eggs, mix them with flour, milk and water and get your mum to whisk it until her hands drop off!"


Son No.1: "Now leave the kitchen quickly and wait until pancakes appear on your plate!"

It is not very often that you have a perfect chance to embarrass your kids, so I urge you all to comment on Son No.1's girlie apron! He does read this blog!!

Smoke get in your Eyes

From July onwards England is joining the many countries to ban smoking in public places and this includes Pubs, the very place where people go to have a drink, a smoke and a chat with friends.
Now don't get me wrong, I could care less either ways and I am not for or against smoking in pubs but this latest announcement really shows again the nonsense this government is dreaming up no doubt under the influence of alcohol:

Thousands of council staff are being trained to police the smoking ban in bars, restaurants and shops in England.
Ministers have given councils £29.5m to pay for staff, who will be able to give on-the-spot £50 fines to individuals and take court action against premises.
They will have the power to enter premises undercover, allowing them to sit among drinkers, and will even be able to photograph and film people. Smokers' groups and industry officials said the plans were a "waste of money".

So let me get this right . . . we do not have any money available to improve local playgrounds, parks, schools or facilities for the elderly but we do have almost 30 million pounds (that's about 60 million Dollars) stashed away for some pimple-faced snotty wanna-be-police do-gooders to sit in our pubs, drink our beer just waiting for some group of youngsters to light up due to the fact that they are half-cut (or totally drunk) and the fact that they really don't give a rat's arse about most things, least of all a smoking ban.
The government has already conceded that the first time they find someone breaking this important law, they are just going to warn them.



So how is this going to work???
Let's look at an example:

It is Friday night and a group of lads and their girlfriends (all in their twenties) is meeting at the Cock & Bull Pub in Slough where they do what they always do: Have some Beers, some Vodka Chasers and take the p*ss out of each other.
At 10:30 p.m. Hooknose Harry and Stinky Steve light up a couple of fags for themselves and their girls, Big-boob Brenda and Corrie-the-Chav.

Suddenly wanna-be policeman Malcolm whips out a camera and starts flashing away at the group with the comment: "Ha, gottcha!! You are all criminals now and I have the evidence to prove it!" (waiving the camera at them in a "look at me, I am a detective"-sort of way.
"Next time I catch you it will cost you all £50 cash!!"
Challenging him, Trisha-the-tart is now lighting up and taking a deliberately deep drag on the cigarette places her mouth firmly on Sally Sicknote, exhaling and thus sharing the smoke with her.
More snapping of pictures, more warnings, more threats of penalties.
"I did not light up!" exclaims Sally, "So you better don't mess with me, buddy!"
Malcolm seems confused as to what to do about this. Now other youngster join in the fun and shout their mouths off about discrimination against lesbians.
Stinky Steve has meanwhile started on his second fag but insists on challenge that this is still his first one and asks Malcolm to prove the opposite - which of course he can't.
Seeing his authority being eroded before his eyes, Malcolm now waves his 'I am a w*nker but one with governmental authority' badge at them and asks them all for their names and the inevitable fine of £50.

About two minutes later the picture is as follows:

Hooknose Harry has embedded his left fist in Malcolm's face - Trisha-the-Tart has caught his camera, placed one of Malcolm's hands inside Big-Boob-Brenda's top and has taken a picture of him 'violating' her before shoving the camera up his arse!

Meanwhile barely 20 yards from the commotion, four 16-year old girls are puking up having spent the last 3 hours binge-drinking and flashing their boobs at pub goers.
They are all on the way to becoming alcoholics, school drop-outs and are this evening costing the tax-payer several hundred pounds each as they need to be forcefully removed by the proper police, ferried via police van to a cell to sober up or having their stomachs pumped and have reports written up about them, not to speak about the court costs when they are told that the charges against them have been dropped this time!
Their livers are shot, their prospects of getting jobs are slim and their reliance on the national health service (which you and I pay for) is likely to be great.
Instead of collecting revenue from those naughty, naughty smokers, the tax payer now needs to fork out for an operation to remove a camera from a wanna-be policeman's rectum and pay for an investigation for 'inappropriate behavior' by a wanna-be-police do-gooder who has been snapped having his hand down someones blouse as well as for the cost of a new camera!

Meanwhile the pub is getting fined for having people smoking there and has been forced to ban the lot of them for life, thus reducing their income by 20% as Stinky Steve, Hooknose Harry and all of their friends now prefer to drink and smoke at their various garden bar-b-que get-togethers instead of supporting the local pubs.

As to the growing problems of 'binge-drinking' . . . . who cares!!

============================================

As for the Fun Monday post . . . I will have to sit this one out!

10 stupid Thinks I've gone in my Life

We've all done stupid things in our lives and I am no exception!
Here then is my list of stupid things. I hope you'll enjoy it!

1. Once, as a teenager, I tried to speed up the burning process of a bonfire by trying to add petrol to it with a canister. Luckily my girlfriend's Dad grabbed me just in time, choking the hell out of me and calling me a moronic son-of-a-b*tch! Phew!!
   
   
2. I married my first wife! How stupid was that?!!!
   
   
3. When I was 18 I drove off to get some more beer from the store. Unfortunately I was totally drunk at the time! So drunk in fact, I couldn't find the store and returned empty-handed. Madness!!
   
   
4. Whilst in the army I had a dispute with another soldier, so I clobbered him one - locked him in the wardrobe and threw the wardrobe out of the second floor window! He landed upside down stunned and severely bruised but otherwise intact (which is more than can be said for the wardrobe!). It netted me a 2-week visit to the army prison but I didn't care.
   
   
5. At the age of 18 I borrowed my Dad's car, which after a while started to make horrific grinding noises from the engine. I still carried on driving until it gave up the ghost, thus rendering it irreparable, since it had completely run out of oil! Oops!! Was my Dad a happy bunny?? Ehm . . that's a No then!!
   
   
6. Aged 20 I met the woman of my (then) dreams. She lived 300 miles away and I spent all of my evenings working after school at a sh*tty job to earn enough money to go and see her on the weekends. After 9 months, she was fed up with me and send me packing! (B*tch!!)
   
   
7. In the summer of 1987 I packed up my entire family to drive overnight from England to Germany. In Belgium I took the wrong turning off the motorway. Realising my mistake I turned around 180 degrees back up to the motorway which woke my wife Jan up.
   "You are on the wrong side!!" she screamed. "Of course I am on the wrong side!!" I replied, waving my hand at her in a belittling way, "We are in Belgium! They do drive on the other side!!" Before she could say anything else 2 cars came towards us (like in the film Trains, Planes and Automobiles) lights flashing and I realised that I was going against the flow of traffic on a dual carriage-way! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
   
   
   
   
   
8. When I was 12 years old, my brother Tom (then 7 years old) was a pain in the neck. We shared a bedroom together and he just wouldn't shut up and go to sleep. So I got up and punched him. Unfortunately he fell back onto the small wooden head-board of the bed nearly breaking his neck. The doctor was called and should have been re-called for me after the tremendous thrashing my Dad gave me.
   
   
9. At the tender age of 10 my friend and I decided that school was to be avoided as our homework was not up-to-date and the note to our parents to alert them of this fact was unsigned due to us not telling them about this. We figured since it was only 10 days to go to the 8 weeks summer holidays, we'd stay off school in the hope that after the break the teacher will have forgotten about the homework.
   All went well until day 8 when the teacher phoned our parents wishing "speedy recovery" for whatever illness was keeping us from school.
   Do you know how to hit a moving object with a four-slice toaster?? My Dad does!! OMG!!!
   
   
10. Whilst on holiday in Greece with the family and Jan being 7 months pregnant with Victoria she was complaining about back pain. "I know how to cure that!" I said, standing back to back with her, interlocking arms and lifting her up over my back. (Insert any old swear-words you can think of here!!)
    How was I to know about Sciatica, often experienced in late pregnancy, primarily resulting from the uterus pressing on the sciatic nerve, and, secondarily, from the muscular tension and / or vertebral compression consequent to carrying the extra weight of the fetus, and the postural changes inherent to pregnancy. (according to the doctor's handbook)
    

So, there you have it! My list of idiotic behaviour. I tag you all to do a list yourselves!

Marching Orders

This is it! My company has given me my marching orders and asked me to take my carcass out of there by the end of February.
Someone once said that when God closes a McDonald's, he opens a Burger King and I hope that there will be a company out there somewhere who might be interested in hiring a kind-hearted, caring and well organised person such as myself.
Time will tell.

Yesterday was my friend Garry's birthday and we got together for the obligatory "beers & curry" routine.
A good time was had by everybody and I awoke this morning wondering whether a camel had been sleeping on my tongue!
The things we do!!


Kevin, Jan, Christine, Debs and Garry at the beginning of the evening


Garry & Jan at the end of the evening after the alcohol has taken its toll


To all of you out there . . have a very happy Valentine's day and I wonder if any of you have received a secret Valentine's card?? (I know I haven't!).

Why I love where I live

Marnie has put forward this Fun Monday challenge:

In order to learn about different places and to get to know all of our blogging buddies, tell us why you love where you live.

I live in Buckingham on latitude 51.99561 ; longitude -0.986887 in the South East of England.
Buckingham is a small town of about 14000 people is home to the UK's first and only private university, the University of Buckingham.
Unlike other UK universities, most of its students are from overseas.

Buckingham has a variety of restaurants and pubs as you would expect in most towns of its size. It has a small array of local shops and the town of Milton Keynes is easily reachable by road.

The river Great Ouse flows through the town, which is centred on the historic market place and contains many 18th century buildings.

Why I love where I live:
Buckingham is a quiet and peaceful little town with a good mix of families, elderly and also young people. Everything you need is in walking distance, such as supermarkets, shops, swimming pool as well as several nice pubs. There is a nice park with walks along the river and many a summer's evening is taken up with sitting outside a pub with friends, sipping beer, laughing and staggering home with a Kebab from the shop or the van in the market place in hand.
There is hardly ever any trouble and crime is low.
Milton Keynes with its big shopping center, multiscreen cinema, theatre and snow-dome is 15 minutes by car and Oxford is only 45 minutes away.

In order to give all of you a more visual effect of the place allow me to show you some pictures I took on a nice morning in early spring:


The Buckingham Church


Along the river Great Ouse


The small shopping area


Near the old cemetery


The old goal - now a museum


The market place


The White Hart pub

I'm sure you will agree that it all looks really lovely and that there are far worse places to live in.
The only handicap is that the nearest coast is about 2 hours drive away and I love the sea.
Well, you can't have everything! Or can you???

Fecking Polititians!!

There are 635 members of the British House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. Fine!
But did you realise that in that group

• 3 have done time for assault
• 7 have been arrested for fraud
• 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
• 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
• 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
• 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
• 29 have been accused of spouse abuse
• 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
• 84 were arrested for drink driving in the last year
• 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
  

And those are the people that we put our trust in to move the country forward!
Doesn't it just put the Great back into Great Britain?!?!?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

We woke up to this scene this morning and since I am a sucker for snow, I just had to post these pictures!


View from our top window to the front


View from top window to the back


Lonely plant


Here you can see how much snow fell this morning

Ten Things I believe

Here is a list of 10 things I believe.
Maybe you want to do a list like this as well! I certainly would like to read it.

1. Don't get involved with "high maintenance" people.
   They will zap your strength and add to your woes. They are not happy unless there is a crisis in their life (there usually is one - self inflicted) and they love to lament about it.
2. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.
   Unless you have lines in your life which you refuse to cross, anyone can just push you around and you will end up in situations not knowing how you got there in the first place.
3. Most people do not need a good talking to but a good listening to.
   We are all happy to give advice and to suggest ways of getting out of some troublesome predicament. Opinions are however cheap to get hold of and by far the better way is to give your time listening and asking questions which will help the person to form their own solutions.
4. Love will win the day.
   There is nothing more powerful than true, unconditional love. It will heal, restore, drive out fear, build faith, overcome barriers and it is the difference between existing and living. If you have not found this type of love, seek God- because God IS love.
5. An end with horror is better than horror without end.
   When things are not right it is better to cut loose rather than continuing on the same path and be subjected to more and more pain, frustration and heart-ache. Only once you have let go can you restart afresh.
6. Don't ask me if I 'can keep a secret'.
   Ask yourself . . why do people want to tell you a secret? If it is a secret, then why are they telling it to you? Is it because it is too heavy to carry? In which case why do you want to be burdened with it? Does 'knowing the secret' give you any advantage apart from being able to gossip it to someone else? No! It usually puts you in an awkward position should someone ask you if you know anything about this.
7. Money is a great slave but a terrifying master.
   If you use money for what it can do for you then it is very useful but if you are running after it and it becomes your focus for life, then you are screwed! Giving it away to do good offends its power and puts you right back in charge. So practise charity often! Guard your heart.
8. There is one name only by which man can be saved - Jesus Christ
   Someone has sold us the lie that we are all pilots of our lives in the full knowledge that we are all going to crash and burn. Handing your life over to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Saviour and master of life will guarantee life eternal and forgiveness of all sins.
9. Generalisations are usually wrong
   Stay away from statements such as: "You are always late" or "All men are b*stards" or "The youths of today are all irresponsible"!
   Ignore comments like these or at least question their validity.
10. People are in essence 'good'!
    Yes, many people are careless, misguided, stressed, make mistakes and are often not on our wave-length but I challenge you to think about this:
    If you look for the bad in people, you will find it! Look for good in people and you will also find it! Which would you rather find??
    A man had a white and a black dog who were constantly fighting. "Which one will win?" his son asked. "The one I feed!" was the reply.
    So feed the white dog in people and in yourself.

On a different note:
Yes, we finally have got a nice cold spell and the temperature this morning was a nice -8 degrees Celsius, turning everything into a white winter wonderland. How beautiful is this!!?

Bugs! You're going down!

Since we have not had a winter to speak of this year, everybody is suffering with illness due to the fact that no bugs have been killed off at all.
Crocuses are everywhere, little flies are dancing in the sunshine and neighbours are mowing the lawn.
The world has gone bonkers!!



This morning however, the temperature outside showed a healthy minus five degree Celsius and everything seemed to be frozen in time and place.
This weather shift is said to continue for a few days so here's a word for all those pesky little bugs out there!
"You're going down!!"

Posts that left an Impression on me!

Today we wish to highlight posts that we thought of as memorable.
Here then are the ones that love and 'stuck in my mind':

First Place
Favorite post: Ode to Ma (a bit late)
Artist: Marnie
Blogsite: I didn't say it was your fault . . .
Link to post: http://thefates3.blogspot.com/2006/05/ode-to-ma-bit-late.html

Reason for choosing this post:
I just love Marnie's humorous way of describing things but this post is a bitter-sweet account of life, family, struggle and perseverance. It is an 'Ode to Ma' but it is also an ode to family, to courage and to love.
Marnie manages to tell this very personal story in her own funny but fragile, gentle way which has you spell-bound between laughing out loud on moment to crying tears the next.
This piece of writing is a most wonderful and honest 'gift of thanks' and is very precious indeed.
This reader feels very privileged to be allowed to read it.
Marnie, I applaud you!

Second Place
Favorite post: Agent Provocateur
Artist: CB
Blogsite: The Company Bitch
Link to post: http://thecompanybitch.blogspot.com/2006/05/agent-provocateur.html

Reason for choosing this post:
CB, like Marnie, has a great sense of humor and most of her posts are very funny to read.
This post is a great example of his and takes its hilarity from good observation of everyday life occurrences and peoples behaviour. It shows our own vulnerability and often ridiculous reservations, fear and anguish.

Third Place
Favorite post: What do you do with girls
Artist: Ree
Blogsite: Confessions of a Pioneer Woman
Link to post: http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/confessions_of_a_pioneer_/2007/01/when_marlboro_m.html

Reason for choosing this post:
Ree has created a stunning post which shows a father-daughter relationship as they work together. This post is underpinned with the most beautiful picture sequence of the couple in action. You will love it!

To link to other participating blog friends, just go to Swampy at Anecdotes, Antidotes & Anodes now.

Breaking through

When I was walking the dog this morning in the clear, crisp and frosty air with the sun shining out of a cloudless blue sky I just couldn't help but praise God for all He has created.
Even though I am suffering from a bad flu I believe God has sent me this bright morning to confirm to me that this is indeed a new era for me.
He has cut me loose from my old frustrating job, He has spent the past month repairing my soul and I do feel wonderfully restored inside and He will now do the same on my body.

If you feel stressed, unappreciated or depressed and life is a struggle, then just take yourself back to the maker. He is the only one who can fix it all!



So today's post is solely dedicated with thanks to our most wonderful friend, Saviour and God.
After the dark night, His mercy is new every morning!

Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

The Sound of Silence

What's happening?? Why doesn't he post stuff anymore every day??
Those might be the questions in your head when visiting my blog.
Alas . . the "Fly" has had the Flu!!
I think I have been unwell now for the best part of a month and I am pig-sick of it!
Enough already!!

Before I submerge myself back into a bucket of Flu Remedy, I just wanted to remind all you readers of the next Fun Monday on February 5th:

Just email Swampy at swampwitch06@gmail.com and she will include you on her list of participants this Monday on her blogsite Anecdotes, Antidotes & Anodes

We are to link to memorable posts.
It can be one of your own. It can be a fellow blogger's post.You can list as many posts as you want. This is just another way to meet new bloggers and possibly learn something new about current blogging friends. What post(s) come to mind that stick in your memory for some reason?

Example:
The first post that came to my mind was Not My Day to Die Part 1 posted by Julie at Another Chance Ranch.

Please also include any background information about why you chose those particular posts. About the only rule around here is to keep one foot on the floor at all times. Just link us to something we will enjoy.

So, back to the tissues and tablets!
Be blessed!